So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
