out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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