I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
3pm strippers are depressing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
