are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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