yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This is my gift to your gina
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
