Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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