i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
