literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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