Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
