Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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