you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
