lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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