I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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