He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
