either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
