those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
