Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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