People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
