He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
