I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
