Buhtt sex?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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