i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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