The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
