can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
NoShamevember. You game?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
