let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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