ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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