I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
