3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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