Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
