you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
