he told me I talked like a deaf person
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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