He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
