Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
