Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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