Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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