one two three fourrrrnication!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
