D3 body, D1 cock
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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