I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
