Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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