Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
