Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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