So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
