Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
