omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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