ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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