On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
