I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
