I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
