No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
