Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
